Thought for the day

Thought for the day :~ “SAVE WATER…HAVE BATH WITH NEIGHBOR’S DAUGHTER”

When a man says I Love You

When a man says I Love You, he means,
I-am….L-ooking….O-ver the …..V-iginal……. E-ntry….Y-ou must
take……O-ff your…. U-nderwear!!!

A girl goes to the doctor

A girl goes to the doctor complaining that her
hole has become big and it hurt a lot….Doc:” How did this hole
become so big? ” Girl: Doc, I was raped by an elephnat” Doc:” But the penis of
an elepohnat is small” Girl ” The elephant Fingered me first”!!!

A girl tells her boyfriend in a theater

A girl tells her boyfriend in a theater.

“Darling the man sitting next to me is masturbating.”

“Ignore him” replies the boyfriend.

She replies ” But darling but he is using my hand”

quran pak ki wo kon c sura hai

Q.1: 
Quran pak ki wo kon c sura hai jis mein sirf aik zer ata hai. 

ANS: 
SURA E IKHLAS 

Q.2: 
Un 2 jandaron k nam bataen jinhen baghair halal kiye khaya ja skta hai. 

ANS: 
FISH & TIDDI 

Q.3: 
Qayamat k din sb se pehly kinhein kapre pahnaye jaeynge? 

ANS: 
HAZRAT IBRAHEEM alaihis salam ko. 

Q.4: 
Sura yasin ko quran ka dil kaha jata hai sura REHMAN ko kia kaha jata hai? 

ANS: 
QURAN KI ZEENAT.

4 Hastian Duniya Mein Sub Se Ziada Roi Hain

1= Hazrat Aadam (A.S) 

Jannat Se Nikalny Pr. 

 
2=Hazrat Yaqub (A.S) 

 
Apne Betay Hazrat 
Yousuf (A.S) 
Ki Judai Mein. 

 
3=Hazrat Yahyah (A.S) 
Khauf E KHUDA Mein. 

 
4=Hazart Mohammad (S.A.W.W) 
Apni Um'mat Ki Fikar Mein.

Zaror tum mere khane k lye kch lai hogi?

Wife shoping kr k wapis ayi to husbnd 
 
wife se saman laite hoye bola:

Zaror tum mere khane k lye kch lai hogi? 
 
Wife: Bilkul thik,

isme mere new sandal hai.

shaadi ke bad b mujhe khub pyaar karoge

Patni - Tum to kehte the ki shaadi ke 
bad b mujhe khub pyaar karoge..

Pati- Sorry yaar! Mujhe maalum nahi tha 
ki tumhari shaadi mujhse hogi ....

Waiting Room Ka Kya Faida

Passenger :
Ager Sub Trains Late Hon To 
Time Table Ka Kya Faida ?

Pathan :
Ager SUb Trains Waqt Per Hon To 
Waiting Room Ka Kya Faida . .

AURTON ka kaam AAG lgana hay bhujana nahi

TEACHER Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy jis me ORAT kaam nhi kr sakti

STUDENT FIRE BRIGADE

Teacher kyon

Student AURTON ka kaam AAG lgana hay bhujana nahi..

Tum Apni ma Ko Alag Ghar Dila Dena!

BOY: Tum Shadi K Bad Apne Liye 
 
Alag Ghar To Nahi Mangogi?

GIRL:Nahi me aisi Ladki nahi hu.

Tum Apni ma Ko Alag Ghar Dila Dena!

RISHTA WAHI, SOCH NAYEE

STAR PLUS:

Tumhri life men 14 larkyan ayen gi

Jyotish:
Tumhri life men 14 larkyan ayen gi

Boy:
"Oh yess... What a life!"

Jyotish:
Ziyada khush mat ho.
1 Biwi or 13 betyan hongi.

kabhi pati-patni par b kripa barsao!

Aadmi kumbh ke mele mai- he prabhu,

teri kripa se kumbh k mele mai 
 
bhai-bhai ko bichadte dekha hai, 
 
kabhi pati-patni par b kripa barsao!

Ke bachon ke darmiyan waqfa zaruri hai

1st Pathan: Mere bache honge

To 1 ko Karachi

Aur 1 ko Lahore chor aonga....

2nd Pathan: Woh Kyu...?

1st Pathan: Kal T.V. per bata rahe they

Ke bachon ke darmiyan waqfa zaruri hai...

Yar Sooraj Raat Ko Kyu Nhi Nikalta?

Pathan: Yar Sooraj Raat Ko
Kyu Nhi Nikalta?

2 pathan:
kia pata nikalta bi ho
andhera itna hota hai kahan dikhai day ga...

agar aisa hota to aaj aap meri baahon me hoti

Teacher – Agar irada pakka kar k kuch kaam 
karo tou woh poora hota hai…!!!

Student – Rehne dain miss, agar aisa hota 

to aaj aap meri baahon me hoti..

bhai kitab k paise mangvaaye the

Hostel student 2 his frnd:

"yaar dhoka ho gya".

Friend-"kya ho gya?".

studnt-"bhai kitab k paise mangvaaye the,

gharwalo ne kitabe bhej di'

shadi shuda mardon ko hi naukri q daitay hain?

Employee:
Boss aap shadi shuda mardon ko hi 
naukri q daitay hain????????

Boss:
Q kay unhain pehlay hi say Gaalian 
khanay ki aadat hoti hai………….

Tumhare father kia karte hain?

Teacher: Tumhare father kia karte hain?

Student: HBFC k malik hain.

Teacher: O Nice, acha ye HBFC ka matlab kia hai?

Student: Hafiz Burger & Fruit Chaat.

apun ka desh kaun chalata hai?

Munna-apun ka desh kaun chalata hai? 
Circuit-bhai simple hai...apna SMS. 
Munna-kya fekta hai?
Circuit-bhai sms bole to ....
SARDAR MANMOHAN SINGH...

Do memon hotel mein aik dusre ko mile

Do memon hotel mein aik dusre ko mile...

4 din baad dono mar gaye...!

Wajah kya thi...?

Woh 4 din aik dusre ko dekhte rahe..

Ke khana kon mangwaye ga...?

Agr 1 ghanta pehle le aty to hum isy bacha lete

Dr. to Patient's frnd: Agr 1 ghanta pehle le aty to hum isy bacha lete.

Friend: Aby saly, aadha ghanta pehle to iska accident hua hai 1ghanta pehle kese le ata?

alpenlibe jee lalchaye raha n jaye

Teacher:shadi kya hai?

student:kunwaro k liye "alpenlibe" 
jee lalchaye raha n jaye..

or shadishuda k liye
"chlormint"
dubara mat puchna...

lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe

if sumone calls u crazy,dont mind,
if sumone calls u duffer,relax,
if sumone calls u stupid be cool,
but if sumone calls u “cute”

lagana thappar os pagal ke monh pe,
mazak ki b koi hud hoti hai.

Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai?

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta . gharwale mana karrahe hai. 
Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai?
Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche

kabhi bimari,to kabhi honeymoon

boss Pichle 6 mahino mein tumne kitni chhutiya li hai.
kabhi bimari,to kabhi honeymoon,
bacheki bimari.ab kya hai?

karamchari:kal meri shaadi hai.

bijli ki tarah kaam karna

Maalik Naukar say:
yeh tum kisi bhi kaam k liye 
jaatay ho to wapas aanay main
2-3 ghantay kyun laga daitay ho. ?

Naukar:
sahab aap nay he to kaha tha 
k bijli ki tarah kaam karna ...

batao mere hath mai kia hai?

Aik Pagal (hath mai cigarette chupa kr): 
batao mere hath mai kia hai?

dosara pagal: rail gari...

1st:Tumhe kaise pata chala?

2nd:maine dhuwan niklte dekha...

School 7 baje Shuru Hota Hai

Miss: Aaj Tum Late Q Aae?
School 7 baje Shuru Hota 
Hai Fir der Q Ki?

Kid:Miss,Aap Meri Itni Fikar Mat 
Kiya Karo Log Galat Samajhte Hai.!

Taxi me baith kar chala gaya...!!

Garmi me Bus Stop pe Log bus K 
intizaar me khade the,
1 Faqir aya,
Sub se Bhik mangi
Or
Taxi me baith kar chala gaya...!!

tum bure bacho ke saath kyo khelte ho

Maa- “Rinku, tum bure bacho ke saath kyo khelte ho,

ache bacho ke saath kyo nahi khelte?”

Rinku- “Maa, un ache bacho ki maatao ne apne

bacho ko mere saath khelne se mana kar diya hai”